J: AMC Follow-up – thoughts on grassroots publishing as a response to sexual violence

At the AMC this weekend, Lex and I ran a workshop called Wrong is Not My Name: Poetic Healing as a Response to Sexual Violence where we shared our experience creating our interactive anthology Wrong is Not My Name: A Tribute to Survival Via June Jordan. Here’s a description:

This hands-on workshop will highlight the theory and practice of grassroots publishing as a response to Sexual Violence. Participants will learn about how this form of media fits into the work of UBUNTU, a women of color/survivor-led coalition committed to replacing gendered violence with sustaining transformative love. Based in Durham, NC. UBUNTU is practicing a model of community creation centered around healing, expression, sustainability, internal education and awareness raising. Participants will experience the UBUNTU model of community creation, through the production of a group publication during this workshop.

In the course of preparing to lead the workshop, we had some really interesting conversations about grassroots publishing in the context of our work – I wanted to share some thoughts from these as well as some things I learned about zines and resources for exploring further.

Grassroots publishing (by which I mean to include a wide range of mediums that allow writers to share their words without going through commercial publishing institutions – independent presses, zines, community newsletters, booklets, brochures, blogs, etc.), can be a powerful resource in the context of personal and community healing because:

The process of creating and writing – ‘coming to voice’ on paper – can be an accessible and concrete way for survivors to engage in healing. For some of us, the processes of emotional and physical healing can feel intimidating (big, mysterious, painful) and we often cope by avoiding and shutting down emotionally. Survivors of sexual violence are sometimes silenced by feelings of isolation, shame, self-doubt, and fear. Talking through experiences of violence or their aftermath with another person or people that we trust is a crucial element of the healing process (click here for information on supporting a survivor of sexual assault). Writing is no substitute, but healing is an ongoing process and putting things down on paper can be useful at any point along the way. Writing – journaling, poetry, freeform, essays, or really in any form – allows us to acknowledge and express feelings and thoughts at whatever pace and time feels right. When it is just us and the paper (or the screen) we don’t have to worry about being judged, or blamed, or disbelieved. We can share our truths, or not share them – either way, in writing we learn to hear and honor our own voices.

…and when we speak we are afraid
our words will not be heard
nor welcomed
but when we are silent
we are still afraid

So it is better to speak
remembering
we were never meant to survive

Audre Lorde
‘Litany for Survival’

When we publish our writings (on blogs, in zines, or elsewhere) it is a way of meeting the world as a part of healing – this is important because we honor eachother’s humanity by speaking our truths, and because as Lex reminded us, “silence is already a form of death.” Speaking truth is also a powerful and transformative act of resistance within the context of a rape culture that demands our silence. Research tells us that there are an estimated 21 million survivors in this country today, and that every 2 1/2 minutes someone is sexually assaulted – yet, too often people speak about rape as though it were a rare occurrence and isolated to back alleyways and “other” people. When survivors speak up, we challenge popular misconceptions about rape. We also make it easier for other survivors to do the same.

Being part of a writing community within UBUNTU has allowed us to connect to other survivors, to support and celebrate eachother. And in sharing our stories and experiences with eachother we are able to bring our analysis of sexual violence to a systemic (rather than individual) level. When we observe the commonalities between these experiences, we can clearly see the structural roots of sexual violence and understand rape culture as situated within the context of interlocking racial, gendered, sexual, and class-based oppressions. Taken as a body of work, the writings of survivors (in UBUNTU and elsewhere) speak to and document the prevalence of sexual violence and to the physical and emotional costs of rape culture for real people – both survivors and our loved ones. In this way, these writings are also a political resource or tool that can be useful in educating and calling for change. Through the use of grassroots publishing methods we are able to share our writings quickly, easily, and widely with little or no overhead costs – making the process accessible to all who know ‘it is better to speak’.

What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life?
The world would split open.

Muriel Rukeseyer
‘Kathe Kollwitz’

Birth of an UBUNTU blog…

With all the pride and joy that accompany moments of new birth I am pleased to announce the newest member of our UBUNTU blogging family ~ and her name is Love!

Loveispower created hay que luchar – the home for radical love – today. She is a:

lover, fighter, and friend who believes that self-love and compassion for every person on this planet are both necessary and possible.

Welcome! Because as Lex said:

when you speak
we listen.
we are so glad that you
are here, of all places.

~~~

Loveispower’s beautiful beginnings:

i begin today.

a survivor a womyn a lover of laughter i take my time
to say
now now now now now now now now now
NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW
waiting takes too long
and i’m done
i say “NOW”
let’s speak NOW
let’s dance NOW
let’s say i want it or i don’t want it or i want it like this NOW
let’s say i’m true, i’m searching, i’m knowing, i’m questioning NOW
let’s say i’m precious
let’s say i’m right
let’s say i’m forgiven
let’s say i’m r/evolution
let’s say i’m beautiful
let’s say i’m what the universe needs
let’s say it loud soft with voices and hands and feet and eyes and hearts
let’s say love forever starts with me
and let us say these things now.

yesterday i participated in the national day of truthtelling here in my adopted home of durham, nc. through the streets we marched, watching faces of folks on the sidewalks, peering out of doorways and in cars in the adjacent lane. they smiled, they strained to read, spoke on cell phones and gave peace signs as we passed. we marched on like the world we envision free of sexual violence had already come, we marched with the faith that it would. we clapped hands, chanted our demands: end rape culture…si, se puede! and our truths: i am that survivor. we marched with love for our bodies, with appreciation for this moment, with a newfound value for our selves and our power.

as we passed the house where a womyn was gang raped last year, a womyn whose case was dismissed from the criminal “justice” system like almost all of the cases of survivors i know who have reported their sexual assualt or rape, i felt layers lift from my self like you would peel layers from an onion. i felt new, listening to my sister’s and my brother’s pain, audible cries that broke the silence and traveled to the corners of our hearts.

by the time we reached the w.d. hill center on fayetteville street and i sat down with my rice and lentils to watch the capoeira performance i felt that even the way i ate my food was different. the day reminded me that i could move my body however i wanted because it was mine. take up space. swing my hips for peace. raise my arms for truth. eat with my fingers for connection. all up to me. ya see? every moment is this moment. life eternal requires such urgency, such desire to push right now for what you want forever to be.

i give this fight my whole life.
for this fight has given me life.

~~~

Take a moment to go celebrate her arrival!

From Lex: “wishful thinking” or “what i’m waiting to find in our email boxes”

(with Mendi and Keith Obadike–www.blacknetart.com in mind)
dedicated to the black women at Duke and North Carolina Central especially

…a collection of wished messages that I have decided I deserve to hear…as a start to what a world free from sexual violence could be full of….

1. you wake up each day
as new as anyone
there is no reason to assume
you would be supernaturally strong.
there is no reason to test your stregnth
through daily disrespect and neglect.
you don’t need to be strong.
everyone supports you.

2. if you say ouch
we believe that you are hurt.
we wait to hear how we can help
to mend your pain.

3. you have chosen to be at a school,
at a workplace, in a community
that knows that you are priceless
that would never sacrifice your spirit
that knows it needs your brilliance to be whole

4. your very skin
is sacred
and everything beyond it
is a miracle that we revere

5. we mourn any violence that
has ever been enacted against you.
we will do what it takes
to make sure that it doesn’t happen again.
to anyone.

6. when you speak
we listen.
we are so glad that you
are here, of all places.

7. other women
even strangers
reach out to you
when you seem afraid
and they stay
until peace comes

8. the sun
reminds everyone
how much they love you.

9. people are interested
in what you are wearing
simply
because it tells them
what paintings to make.

10. everyone has always told you
you can stay a child
until you are ready to move on

11. if you run across the street
naked at midnight
no one will think
you are asking
for anything.

12. you do so many things
because it feels good to move.
you have nothing to prove
to anyone.

13. white people cannot harm you.
they do not want to.
they do not do it by accident.

14. your smile makes people
glad to be alive

15. your body is not
a symbol of anything

16. everyone respects your work
and makes sure you are safe
while doing it

17. at any moment
you might relive
the joy of being embraced

18. no one will lie to you,
scream at you
or demand anything.

19. when you change your mind,
people will remember to change theirs.

20. your children are safe
no one will use them against you.

21. the university is a place where you
are reflected and embraced.
anyone who forgets how miraculous you are
need only open their eyes.

22. the universe conspires
to lift you
up.

23. on the news everynight
people who look like you and
the people you love
are applauded
for their contribution to society.

24. the place where knowledge is
has no walls.

25. you are rewarded for the work you do
to keep it all together.

26. every song i’ve
ever heard on the radio
is in praise
of you.

27. the way you speak
is exactly right
for wherever you happen
to be.

28. there is no continent anywhere
where life counts as nothing.

29. there is no innocence that needs your guilt
to prove it.

30. there is no house
in your neighborhood
where you still hear screams
every time you go
past.

31. no news camera waits
to amplify your pain.

32. nobody wonders
whether you will make it.
everybody believes in you

33. when you have a child
no one finds it tragic.
no map records it as an instance of blight.

34. no one hopes you will give up
on your neighborhood
so they can buy it up cheap.

35. everyone asks you your name.
no one calls you out of it.

36. someone is thinking highly of you
right now.

37. being around you
makes people want to be
their kindest, most generous selves.

38. there is no law anywhere
that depends on your silence.

39. nobody bases their privilege
on their ability to desecrate you.

40. everyone will believe anything you say
because they have been telling you the truth
all along.

41. school is a place, like every other place.
no one here is out to get you.

42. worldwide, girls who look like you
are known for having great ideas.

43. 3 in 3 women will fall in love with themselves
during their lifetime.

44. every minute in North Carolina
a woman embraces
another woman.

45. you know 8 people
who will help you move
to a new place
if you need to.

46. when you speak loudly
everyone is happy
because they wondered
what you were thinking about.

47. people give you gifts
and truly expect nothing
in return.

48. no one thinks you are
over-reacting.

49. everyone believes
that you should have all
the resources that you need,
because by being yourself
you make the world so much
brighter.

50. any creases on your face
are from laughter.

51. no one, anywhere, is locked in a cage.

52. you are completely used to knowing what you want.
following your dream is as easy as walking.

53. you are more than enough.

54. everyone is waiting
to see what great thing
you’ll do next.

55. every institution wants to know
what you think, so they can find out
what they should really be doing,
or shut down.

56. strangers send you love letters
thanking you
for speaking your mind.

57. you wake up
new as anyone.

—
www.brokenbeautiful.wordpress.com
www.thatlittleblackbook.blogspot.com
www.atthekitchentable.blogspot.com

Dear MaMa Harriet

How do I wade through streams of thick nothing
Gather pieces I no longer feel
Knowing he stole, ripped, ravaged, raped
Something precious
Stole, ripped ravaged, raped
Something pure
Wade streams, cross paths, step over
Bodies
Resembling me
Watching him savor the final blow
How do I wade MaMa
I am tired
I am alone
How do I wade MaMa
Where do I go
Open mouth silent cries…
impenetrable trees border thick streams
I can do nothing more than think you now
Leave a message on light dew
Evaporate through clouds to find you
Can you hear me MaMa
Begging you guide me through, this place where I can’t breathe
Thick air MaMa
Feel my fear MaMa
And he is here MaMa
with bodies resembling me
I struggle to breathe
Cause the air is so thick with nothing
and the bodies too many to step through
Where are you MaMa
I am so close to dead…

And I hear you MaMa
And I feel you MaMa
And I Breathe you MaMa
And you push through
Clearing pathways to womb
And you whisper…
LetgoLetgoLetgoLetgoLetgoLetgoLetgoLetgoLetgoLetgoLetgoLetgoLetgoLetgoLetgo
And I hear you MaMa
And I feel you MaMa
And I Breathe you MaMa
And you push through
Clearing pathways to womb
As I wade to you

For June Jordan – in thanks for the reminder that ‘Wrong is not my name’

I am the history of rape
I am the history of unspeakable truths – spoken and disbelieved
I am the history of unrapable women – raped and surviving

I am the history of a Justice whose blindfold never concealed the brownness of my skin

who always seemed to see that I could not afford a lawyer

and never missed the fact I am lacking a dick

and thus the ability to say anything that matters

I am the history of a body whose services pay for pampers and formula

a body whose services kept roof overhead

and the lights on at night and shoes on baby’s feet

a body whose services you confused with permission to act on the perverse fantasies of your bigoted imagination

and your will to re-call how it felt when your forefathers violated my foremothers

as my forefathers picked the cotton for your t-shirt

the history of a body whose services still cost me far too much

I am the history of a changing account
I am the history of an inconsistent story
I am the history of insufficient evidence

insufficient evidence of my humanity

of my value – my right to exist and give my consent or not give it

I am the ‘lying whore’ you mark your respectability against
I am the DNA-dripping slut who makes you a ‘lady’ by contrast

I am the history of thunderous testimony to my own worthlessness and insufficiency and tangle of pathology

I am the canon of expert knowledge proclaiming my limitations and disabilities and mental deficiency and moral poverty

I am the science of mongrels and abominations

I am the history of a world that would rather forget I am someone’s mother, someone’s sister, someone’s daughter, someone’s beloved

I am the history of a world that would rather if I just shut up and stop being so angry all the damn time while they go about their business of keeping me in my place and bending the backs of my daughters and locking up my son – while they kill and rape and torture and silence people in every direction who coincidentally are brown just like me.

I am the history of your shackles and the future of my creation

I am a person of note

My eyes have borne witness to the history you will into oblivion and my body holds secrets I cannot forget

In my ears there are whispers of transformation and from my heart I’m unearthing my truths

I stand as a Survivor among millions

…and we are remembering our names.

– Serena

A Spelling Lesson

for this and every survivor

drop
is a four-letter word
an instruction after catching fire
a movement behind stop
a command we must memorize
and tell ourselves
if we would be safe

drop
is what we do to the kids
at school, at practice, at auntie’s
training for a next that will keep them (running)
warning that they will not be at home anywhere
treason required by our other jobs

drop
is what the dj plays
what the hypeman says
the entrance of the beat(ing)
stretching our skin like a place to call
drowning our knees like a new heartbeat

and today
drop
is what my stomach does
is a frame for the rain
is the shape of the blood
that would seek to be the last word
as if we weren’t students as well

but we know how to spell

so when i see D-R-O-P
dropped open in front of me
like it was new(s)
all i do is add you
all of bright breaking you
all of impossibly speaking
light leaking
you

and the next word is yours

P-R-O-U-D

love always,
alexis

—

From Lex @ kitchen table: women of color pressed for knowledge

local event: readings by the Carolina African American Writers’ Collective

yay Ebony! yay poetry month!

Writers Present Reading at Parkwood Library

From 2:00 PM to 4:00 PM, on Saturday, April 14, 2007, the Carolina African American Writers’ Collective (CAAWC) will present a reading and discussion of their works at the Parkwood Branch of the Durham County Library, in Celebration of National Poetry Month. Writers participating include L. Teresa Church, DeLana Dameron, Ebony Golden, Raina León, Lenard D. Moore, and Valjeanne Jeffers-Thompson.

Founded by Lenard D. Moore, during 1992, the Carolina African American Writers’ Collective is a workshop and readers’ group comprised of poets, fiction writers, critics, essayists, journalists, playwrights, editors and others. Members meet monthly to critique each other’s literary works, read and discuss books by African American authors, and discuss information about the literary scene. The group’s members are featured in numerous anthologies and national literary magazines, including BMa: The Sonia Sanchez Literary Review, Word and Witness: 100 Years of North Carolina Poetry, Fertile Ground, Catch the Fire, Valley Voices, MiPOesias Magazine, The Ringing Ear, storySouth and Electronic Poetry Network.

The Carolina African American Writers’ Collective has been featured at Page One Festival of Books, North Carolina Literary Festival, Bimbe Festival, Zora Neale Hurston Festival, Obsidian II Literary Festival, Virginia Festival of the Book, United Nations Dialogue Among Civilizations Through Poetry Event, National Black Arts Festival, and at libraries, cultural arts centers, schools, colleges and universities throughout North Carolina and elsewhere.

The Parkwood Library is located at 5122 Revere Road, Durham. North Carolina. Admission to the reading is free and the public is cordially invited to attend.

some statistics on sex work and sexual assault

It is difficult to find statistics about sex workers and sexual violence;
due to the once widely-held perception that sex workers could not be victims of rape, scientists only began to study the prevalence of sexual violence against sex workers very recently. Here are a few of the things we do know:

• One study of violence against women engaged in street prostitution found that 82% reported being physically assaulted in prostitution, and 68% reported having been raped (Farley & Kelly, 2000).
• This extreme prevalence of violence against sex workers includes both indoor and outdoor sex work –indoor sex workers were also found to be frequent victims of violence (Raphael & Shapiro, 2004).
• A study of exotic dancers found that 100% had been physically assaulted in the clubs where they were employed, with a prevalence ranging from 3-15 times over the course of their involvement in exotic dancing. Violence included physical assault, attempted vaginal penetration, attempted rape,and rape (Holsopple, 1999).
• In another study, 51.2% of women working as exotic dancers were threatened with a weapon (Raphael & Shapiro, 2004).

References:

UBUNTU’s Points of Agreement

1. We envision a world without sexual violence, and we work persistently to bring that vision into being. We recognize the roots of sexual violence to be pervasive and deep, and therefore recognize our work to be a steady, long-term effort to remove these roots from our societies, and from within our own hearts.

2. Although our work is long-term, it is also urgent and immediate. We see providing immediate support for individual survivors and longer-term social transformation as interrelated and mutually-strengthening types of work. To resist, we must heal; to heal, we must resist.

3. Survivors will create the path forward. In resisting violence, homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism, and capitalism, survivors of oppression have the power to generate the vision for all of us to follow. Survivors have a right to decide how their safety will be protected; within this group that includes an agreement that disclosures of responsibility for acts of sexual violence will not occur within general meetings. We work to keep the voices of survivors of sexual violence, women of color, young people, and lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, and transgender people central. We are not waiting for leaders—we are each of us leaders and we are stepping up to the charge of building a world without sexual violence.

4. Sexual violence occurs in a culture sick with white supremacy and racism; heterosexism and homophobia; patriarchy, sexism, and transphobia; and poverty and capitalism. These systems all interact and overlap to create a culture of violence that must be changed. We must dismantle these systems and work to prevent violence if we hope to end it.

5. Sexual violence is never the responsibility of the survivor. Our culture blames survivors of sexual assault for alcohol and drug use, for their occupations, their moral choices, their decision-making, and the intensity of their struggle in the moment of their assault. We reject these assertions. Sexual violence is always the responsibility of the person who committed the violence.

6. Sexual violence happens every day, in every community. Women are its primary targets, but transgender people and men experience rampant sexual violence worldwide, mostly at the hands of non-trans men. Sexual violence is perpetuated by silence. We will name sexual violence for what it is, whatever the identities of those who commit such acts and the survivors of them. We will not be silent.

7. Real justice comes through healthy communities wherein members are accountable to one another and take one another seriously—not through police and prisons. Many of the injuries that accompany, perpetuate, foster, or stop just short of what is legally defined as sexual assault are not deemed as injuries in the eyes of the legal system of the United States. These injuries include psychological and emotional damages to survivors, to the survivors of all trauma, to the communities of which survivors are a part, and fear and intimidation stemming from even the threat of violence. The legal system is ill-prepared to work for actual justice, and it will never be an institution that can promote healing. We believe justice can only come about when people are held accountable to the community, not just to the letter of the law. While we support survivors in seeking assistance and legal remedy through the court system if they desire to do so, our work will not wait on or be silenced by legal processes.

8. We will fight for accountability for those who have committed acts of sexual violence and/or coercion, reparations to survivors and their communities, and a renewed focus on creating spaces for healing and the prevention of racial and sexual violence. A sustaining, transformative love is always at the center of our work.

Conversations (How WE think change happens)

• World Change happens when (and while) individual empowerment happens
• Through Song/Music/Art—as part of a non-violent strategy (For more conversation on non-violence see the end of these notes)
• Through narratives—stories between people—personal but you can find commonalities
• Thru poetic experiments: Let’s try this and see what happens!
• Self-determination
• Sexual independence and Sexual liberation—to belong in your body and feel pleasure there
• Holding land, holding space, water, food, etc
• Community-determined justice
• Small scale: person to person
• Moving out to more people when the beginnings hold integrity
• Dismantling the System!–>
• Creating alternatives that sustain us
• Visionary living—you have to believe change is possible and that it has happened
• Collectively
• Thru passing on the historical context of struggle—creating legends and stories
• Thru inviting people to the table/Making the table together with folks
• Organizing locally around things that affect us—and doing that while holding a global framework
• Loving ourselves—especially when we are taught to hate ourselves
• Liberation education/organizing schools
• Communities with practice consistent with our politics
• Individuals making caring and ethical choices in our own lives
• When organizing permanently alters relationships of power
• When we as a community create spaces for mind/body/spirit healing
• Defining our own terms—not accepting the frame that those who say they are our enemies set up, and not even accepting that they are our enemies.
• Listening is important for creating change that includes all perspectives
• Creating new values!
• Living true to our principles, and understanding that that is very radical and will put us at odds with the system
• Not necessarily looking to the law to determine how we function
• IF YOU COULD CREATE THE WORLD THE WAY YOU WANT IT, WHAT DO YOU SEE? (As a question to add to the questions from this conversation)